I need clothes. Just about everyone who sees my Spartan closet is quick to make that announcement. Though it’s been better since I bought two extra pairs of jeans (bringing me up to four pairs), needing new clothes means going shopping.Which I hate.
It’s not that I don’t like clothing, in fact I’m very particular about what I put on my body. The problem is that clothing just doesn’t seem to look right, much of the time. Part of it’s my shape (34-28-40 or 34-26-38 depending on natural fluctuations). Shows like ‘what not to wear’ would be quick to provide helpful tips, but the problem with being told ‘wear an A line skirt!’ is that if A line skirts aren’t in season this year, good luck.
And it’s not always just that fashion is meant for extremely tall 14 year olds. On the contrarywise, shop outside an upscale boutique and I’m a small down to an extra small. As you can gather this is pretty frustrating when I swim in 3/4 of what’s on the rack.
And then there’s the matter of a lack of defined waists. As you’d note by my digits, not only does baby got back, she’s got an itty-bitty waist. Dresses that fit my chest perfectly buldge and bunch when they meet my pelvis. You can reverse this, but anything that fits the hip usually doesn’t fit in the bodice.
Then there’s hats. How they toment me, in their lovely shapes, with their short and wide brims. Especially the black felt cloches the look best a little large, they usually hit stores like LaChateau in one size fits all type clusters. And this one size is too damn small. Same with many sleeves, who seem designed in the school of abusively tight arm grips. I suppose somewhere out there in an alternate universe, a small headed thin armed me is rocking out in all those hats and jacket I had to turn down because they didn’t fit me. I suspect she’s probably blogging about having trouble finding tight enough jackets and how weak her puny little arms are, though.
And then there’s vanity sizing. Lord, that’s enough to give anyone a headache. Did you know that yesterday when I bought sweaters I was an extra small? And I was trying on lovely tweed skirts and even an 8 was too big. I’ve taken to reading plus sized fashion blogs in protest. At least they devote themselves to shape over anything else.
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