La Phalene

November 28, 2009

Published In a Leading Journal…

Filed under: Uncategorized — admin @ 8:42 pm

I have discovered something- I greatly approve of the voice and tone used in journal articles from 1950 and earlier. By modern standards these articles are considered inferior. They often trumpet some cause or another that was found to be wrong, touchingly or ironically naive or just plain nationalistic tripe. They are less peppered with citations and the research and theories is never cutting edge.

They’re also much more clear in word choice, less likely to waste a lot of time arguing with other peers writing on the subject (And lest you think that controversy makes modern writers argue harder and better, I’ve encountered plenty of papers where they mention the other side’s claims and wave them off as irrelevant without bothering to state why) and I’ve never seen a paper from the turn of the previous century announce ‘more research needed, couldn’t reach a conclusion’, while many of my political theory papers do just that, making me wonder what relevance they had at all, if all they could present was a ‘dog ate my homework’ style excuse to why I floundered through two decades worth of their careful notes on academic cat fights.

The worst a paper from the forties will do will say ‘we must wait and see, to find out if I am correct’. I’d be inclined to pass this off as an arts students’ curse, were it not for distressing reports from Engineering. A gentleman of great esteem to me, well placed in graduate school and soon to be a master in his field, says something similar about incomprehensible modern papers. It is not uncommon to receive something so wound up in jargon and theory that the only way to understand it to backtrack through the citations until you’re several decades before the time of publication and find the work of the (now probably deceased) person who made the observations that got this particular cascade of research going.

And then there are the ESL papers that abound in science. Do not mistake my intent, for as someone who is still trying to muster bilingual, I greatly respect anyone who’s not just a scientist but a polyglot. I’m very privileged by birth to have been born a native English speaker in a world where imperialism and trade domination have foisted my mother tongue off on everyone else. But would it tax a journal unduly to hire a few translation specializing editors to gently massage the twisted syntax into something approaching readable? If you are a brilliant researcher in say, Slovakia or Tanzania, it is sad that your very well documented double blind rat studies into the nature of the u quark in aluminum rich bird baths can’t be dusted up a little by someone who specializes in the language. Your ideas should not have to wrestle with your writing ability.

November 27, 2009

On My Writing and Creativity

Filed under: Uncategorized — admin @ 4:59 pm

I do not understand men. Actually that’s not fair. I interact with male humans more than adequatly, sometimes naively, but often with more sensitivity to their stereotypical hobbies, their insecurities and the challanges related to being the gender that gets murdered most often. However, I do not write male charactes well. Neither can I draw them, forever placing nipples too close together or putting the shoulders out of preportion to the torso.

But when it comes to realistically motivating my male characters, they tend to all come out the same, flat, macho and insecure by turns, villanous if it’s pornographic (or victimized), like my women but even more stand-offish and more inclined to be surprised.

My writing is also damaged by my detachment. Being personally inclined towards violence for titilation, characters deal with brutality, fear and agression on a regular basis, but they speak like my head’s internal narrative. “Oh dear, it does seem that my grandmother is evil incarnate. That does seem very fustrating.” This often confuses therapists as well, who hear my speak in patient, measured tones (with proper enunciation) about what a fragile creature I am.

At least I can draw women well. Once you stop drawing breasts like a pervert’s beachballs, the rest becomes much easier. Unfortunatly I’ve recently been paralyzed by a case of ‘not good enough’. It’s that form of anxious writers block where instead of feeling a degree of satisfied bliss after banging out some prose or scratching pencil on paper, you look at your creative product with the same shame that used to be attached to masturbation a couple of centuries ago- it’s not good enough and impure.

I really, really want to write for the Tribune. They need two columnists for their op-ed section, but I’m overcome with chest tightening shyness. Similarly my efforts to write papers have been derailed by my feeling of inadequacy.

November 24, 2009

Battle Hymn of Procrastination

Filed under: Uncategorized — admin @ 8:06 am

I’m typing out this paper at the bloody crack of dawn
I’m adding in a comma every time I blink or yawn
I’m writing out this argument (although I’m sure it’s wrong)
My paper goes marching on!
The prof said fourteen pages, but it’s really more like ten
I’m using point 13 font size and a three inch margin
My thesis is so convoluted; it’s an exercise in zen
My paper goes marching on!
I’d be making lots of progress if it weren’t for my re-writes
There’s not a lot of substance but there’s an awful lot of cites
I put off till the deadline so I’m working through the night
My paper goes marching on!
I’m drinking so much coffee that it’s given me the shakes
Instead of seeing typos, I see spiders, I see snakes
I hope the TA’s blind, with all these spelling mistakes
My paper goes marching on!
My desk is full of backups and my printer out of ink
I haven’t done my laundry and I can’t even see my sink
They both look kind of promising- which says how much this stinks!
My paper goes marching on!

November 23, 2009

Corf-corf!

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , — admin @ 7:21 pm

I’m still plagued by a pretty powerful cold, which is leaving me coughing and sneezing. This sort of ailment is a new one for me, as it wasn’t until adulthood before sneezing on a regular basis entered the equation. Before then I thought it was something only cats or fictional characters did, and suffered a perpetual runny nose.

Right now I’m all kitted out in the library, with a small package of tissues and hand sanitizer. I’m also driving my boyfriend up the wall- he sees me cough for thirty seconds or so and then orders ’spit!’, trying to get me to expell all the gluck that’s trying to fill my lungs. I wish library regulations allowed for a little cup o’ soup and a blanket, because then I’d be all set.

November 15, 2009

November

Filed under: Uncategorized — admin @ 3:58 am

So Mothboy IV looked at the arrangement of my apartment, and suggested that to improve space the bed be flipped into the corner under the window, the table be pushed to the wall and a small desk be built. Some pushing and shoving and I’m just waiting on my new desk, which, ideally, will house my laptop for improved studies.

We’re also going to install corner shelving over the bed, to house another lamp and maybe a plant and a few more books and we’re thinking about a run to Ikea just for a few cheap odds and ends. Visually I actually like the effect, though I’m still getting used to the bed being nooked into the wall. On the plus side, with a few more pillows it’ll be a really big couch.

November 13, 2009

Pancakes For You!

Filed under: Uncategorized — admin @ 3:39 pm

I’d love to share some of what I’m cooking with you. For example this morning I’m making double chocolate pancakes, big fluffy chocolate chip stuffed chocolate-y goodness. Last night I made sausages and mash. All these get me compliments, and they’re easy peasy, but I realized that I’ve mostly stopped cooking from any easy to convey measureable quantities. My measuring spoons were missing, so I just threw ingredients together by eyeball.

I can give you my Infinitely Editable Pancake Batter recipe though, which I will under the snip.

(more…)

Strict Rules

Filed under: Uncategorized — admin @ 12:58 am

As of today I forced myself to get up at a reasonable hour. Of course now I want to go back to bed and take an long nap, someone wanted to stay up for an extra hour. The bed looks so cozy and there’s afternoon sun, the kind that works as well as knock out drops on me.

It’s pretty much taking my entire force of will not to take my shoes off and stretch out with a happy sigh. Instead I’m having a snack of toast and tea and fussing with my new haircut. The stylist gave me a cute little flip in the front that’s like a mini-bang, which came out quite nicely but requires two minutes with a flat iron to prevent it from sticking out. The poor woman laboured for an hour and a half with my hair and a pair of shears -snick-snicking and the result looks fantastic and is easy to brush and wash. I’ll be going back to her, and probably letting her make art with my head.

I’m busy with the gym and trying to get on top of my studies, the latter of which is driving me buggy. I have a lot of trouble focusing and getting motivated, so I’m officially banned from web surfing until I complete my final exam. Wah!

Opps, now it’s the evening and I just got back from ‘Bodies‘ which was completely fascinating. I think I am in the wrong major, since I had so much fun peering at body parts and sketching things, and I’ve decided to go back for another session when I don’t have poor Mothboy in tow. The poor guy reached the circulation system and got light headed enough that he had to curl up on a bench. Full on cold sweats and trembling, and as a result he’s camped out in my bed about to be served bangers and mash while I pat him and call him ‘Poor Sweety’. It’s actually quite cute because he is normally completely unflappable by actual medical emergancies. For example a major wipe out during a crit resulted in him wading out to help before anyone else had time to react and he’s always being calm and level headed when everyone else is going ‘wah-wah-wah!’ But a human torso’s vascular system filled with red plastic… and he’s curled on my lap with my hand blocking the view.

November 6, 2009

Mental Case

Filed under: Uncategorized — admin @ 7:07 pm

I tried karoke for the first time tonight. It’s harder than it looks, especially when the DJ-karoke guy starts singing over top of you slightly ahead of the lyrics you’re trying to follow along with. I did ‘Hotel California’, complete with hand gestures. Next time I do an easier song, but I think it went over pretty well, with lots of cheering from the friendly audience.

Now I’m chipping away at all those things I’m supposed to be doing, the better to have my life ordered the way it’s supposed to be. I’m really sleepy, and feel like I should curl up in bed and nap, but instead I’m being good and running another errand- off to staples to get a pretty picture laminated, so it’s water safe for my bathroom, and very important readings printed for my conference on the 18th.

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November 3, 2009

Knorr Soup!

Filed under: Uncategorized — admin @ 7:44 pm

Looking at my pantry, you’d think I was a mormon. I like to buy in bulk, despite living alone, and I cook from scratch most of the time. Thus, a 22 lb bag of flour, a large sack of potatos, bulk carrots, a freezer full of frozen fruit… assuming I’m on the ball and have enough time to cook, I’m quite pleased with what I can whip up on short notice. However Tuesdays and Thursdays I don’t have time at lunch to make anything elaborate.

Traditionally one is supposed to eat leftovers in tupperware, but I seldom have the organization to assure that there’s a nummy dinner on hand for such occasions. Knorr instant soups to the rescue! Now on sale, I’ve gone and filled one shelf with two dollar, two serving soup boxes. Now if I stock whole wheat crackers of some kind and some carrot sticks and cheese I’ll be golden.

November Weekend

Filed under: Uncategorized — admin @ 3:48 pm

Halloween meant helping Mothboy IV create a ghastly looking costume: bomb victim, which suited his line of work perfectly and took several rolls of gauze and lots of homemade fake blood (cocoa, corn syrup, red food colouring). As I’m an adult it also meant parties, first one with Mothboy’s family, who pleasantly fed me and talked about people I’ve never heard about, an near the end, gently hinted that babies = win.

After that we scampered to a down town party with a friend of Mothboy’s, full of drunken cyclists and their friends. The live band was great, the boozed up men not so much. I extracted myself from a sleazy, sleazy man in a superman costume who wanted my number in case things didn’t work out with my boyfriend (creeeeepy), and then hid in the kitchen to dance with Mothboy in the relatively clear space, where the host accidentally physically assaulted me and cracked his face open (with bleeding) with the freezer door. We went home shortly after that.

The next day involved less studying than I probably should have, given my looming midterm, and a few changes I like to the organization of my tiny 1.5. If I can get my awful camera to behave (it’s juuuuust before image stabilization so my photos tend to blur) I’ll have pictures.

Mothboy looked at the arrangement of my apartment, and suggested that to improve space the bed be flipped into the corner under the window, the table be pushed to the wall and a small desk be built. Some pushing and shoving and I’m just waiting on my new desk, which, ideally, will house my laptop for improved studies.

We’re also going to install corner shelving over the bed, to house another lamp and maybe a plant and a few more books and we’re thinking about a run to Ikea just for a few cheap odds and ends. Visually I actually like the effect, though I’m still getting used to the bed being nooked into the wall. On the plus side, with a few more pillows it’ll be a really big couch.

As well as putting up shelves, washing dishes, appreciating my cooking and trying to prod me into shape, Mothboy also assembled the recalcitrant Ikea mini-rack with the help of a drill. It now fits together properly, and I want a second one to put on top.

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