I’m in the library and it’s full of ways to get myself in trouble.
1) Fill out this semi-discarded, probably lost, half used french work book in imitation to the owner’s hand writing, so it’s all done in gramatically correct French. And then turn it into the lost and found.
2) Go to the reserved stacks for the honour students, where they keep their neatly piled research material and find new and interesting ways to combine the books they have stacked up to improve their theses. Political messages in Robinson Crueso meet Nazi battle tactics! Alexander the Great , be recombined with a survy of Education during the Great Depression.
3) Taunt the resident schitzophrenic that I’m going to steal his time-cube esque idea and publish it in my name before he can finish labouriously trying to write the perfect introductory paragraph to his “major” breakthrough.
4) Ask the librarian with a “Worker for Jesus” pin if that’s why she’s here over the Easter weekend. Imply I expect to see her on all holy days.
5) Find the terminals where students have forgotten to log out of the free public computers and look up obscure fetish porn and perverse, advanced sexual techniques. Or failing that, find a live streaming version of “Baise-Moi”
6) Find one of the lonely, socially mal-adjusted men who ask to be my slave, book one of the library’s semi-private, glass walled conference rooms and do a scene with him in full dominatrix regalia. Tell library staff we’re rehersing for a production of Caligula.
7) Go around trying to get people to sign a petition to ban all cars, or school tuition, or pure bred dogs. Perhaps all three. Use it as a study of how many people with bangs will sign and use their contact information to tell them how they stack up.
Drop paper planes down the unblocked shaft that runs from the ground floor to the sixth next to the stair case. Army men with parachutes are also an option.
9)Get lots of snack food wrappers and empty drink cans and plant them randomly in people’s desks, so they run afoul of security.